recently, i had to stay in columbia for two weeks for work. the orientation for internship was great, but the days and nights away from my husband...not so great. to kill time, i spent a lot of time at this coffee shop, cool beans, every day after i got off. scofield went to school at usc, so it's a coffee shop we spent a lot of time at together when we were dating. so of course, being without him, that's the place i picked to hang out ;). it made me feel better, you know...
anywho, they have this sign above the cream and sugar station, which is hilarious, so i thought i'd share. in college, i lived off of coffee. maybe my system had such an overdose over those four years, that it started to reject all the caffeine, because now i can only handle maybe a cup a day. so in honor of my former coffee drinking days....here you go...
1. you answer the door before people knock.
2. juan valdez named his donkey after you.
3. you haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
4. you grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
5. your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
6. you chew on other people's fingernails.
7. you can jump-start your car without cables.
8. you don't need a hammer to pound nails.
9. you've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
10. you go to aa meetings just for the free coffee.
11. charles manson thinks you need to calm down.
12. people get dizzy just watching you.
13. the taster's choice souple wants to adopt you.
14. starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
15. people can test their batteries in your ears
16 .your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
17. you channel surf faster without a remote.
18. when someone says, 'how are you?' you say 'good to the last drop.'
19. you want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of your life in a coffee can.
20. you want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.
21. your birthday is a national holiday in brazil.
22. you just completed another sweater and you don't even know how to knit.
23. you're the employee of the month the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
24. you walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize its not plugged in.
25. the only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
26. you're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
27. your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
28. your only source of nutrition comes from 'sweet and low'
29. the nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
30. your t-shirt says, 'decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend.'
31. you spend every vacation visiting 'maxwell house.'
32. you've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
33. you've build a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
34. you can type sixty words per minute...with your feet.'
35. you forget to un-wrap candy bars before eating them.
36. you've worn the finish off your coffee table.
37. you get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
38. you'd be willing to spend time in a turkish prison.
39. you to to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
40. you're offended when people use the word 'brew' to mean beer.
41. you named your cats 'cream' and 'sugar.'
42. you get drunk just so you can sober up.
43. you speak perfect arabic without ever taking a lesson.
44. you lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
45. you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
46. you have a conniption over spilled milk.
47. your nervous twitch registers on the richter scale.
48. you don't get mad, you get steamed.
49. your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during, and coffee after.
50. your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood.
5 1.you can't even remember your second cup.
52. you introduce your spouse as your coffee mate.
53. you think CPR stands for 'coffee produces resuscitation.'
54. your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an i.v. hookup.
55. you speed walk in your sleep.
56. you ski uphill.
57. you sleep with your eyes open.
58. you lick your coffeepot clean.
59. all your kids are named 'joe.'
60. you don't sweat, you percolate.
61. instant coffee takes too long.
62. your thermos is on wheels.
63. you don't tan, you roast.
64. you short out motion detectors.
65. you're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
66. you buy & by the barrel.
67. you can outlast the energizer bunny.
number 22, 52, and 53...my favorite!
2. juan valdez named his donkey after you.
3. you haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
4. you grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
5. your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
6. you chew on other people's fingernails.
7. you can jump-start your car without cables.
8. you don't need a hammer to pound nails.
9. you've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
10. you go to aa meetings just for the free coffee.
11. charles manson thinks you need to calm down.
12. people get dizzy just watching you.
13. the taster's choice souple wants to adopt you.
14. starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
15. people can test their batteries in your ears
16 .your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
17. you channel surf faster without a remote.
18. when someone says, 'how are you?' you say 'good to the last drop.'
19. you want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of your life in a coffee can.
20. you want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.
21. your birthday is a national holiday in brazil.
22. you just completed another sweater and you don't even know how to knit.
23. you're the employee of the month the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
24. you walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize its not plugged in.
25. the only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
26. you're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
27. your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
28. your only source of nutrition comes from 'sweet and low'
29. the nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
30. your t-shirt says, 'decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend.'
31. you spend every vacation visiting 'maxwell house.'
32. you've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
33. you've build a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
34. you can type sixty words per minute...with your feet.'
35. you forget to un-wrap candy bars before eating them.
36. you've worn the finish off your coffee table.
37. you get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
38. you'd be willing to spend time in a turkish prison.
39. you to to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
40. you're offended when people use the word 'brew' to mean beer.
41. you named your cats 'cream' and 'sugar.'
42. you get drunk just so you can sober up.
43. you speak perfect arabic without ever taking a lesson.
44. you lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
45. you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
46. you have a conniption over spilled milk.
47. your nervous twitch registers on the richter scale.
48. you don't get mad, you get steamed.
49. your three favorite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during, and coffee after.
50. your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood.
5 1.you can't even remember your second cup.
52. you introduce your spouse as your coffee mate.
53. you think CPR stands for 'coffee produces resuscitation.'
54. your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an i.v. hookup.
55. you speed walk in your sleep.
56. you ski uphill.
57. you sleep with your eyes open.
58. you lick your coffeepot clean.
59. all your kids are named 'joe.'
60. you don't sweat, you percolate.
61. instant coffee takes too long.
62. your thermos is on wheels.
63. you don't tan, you roast.
64. you short out motion detectors.
65. you're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
66. you buy & by the barrel.
67. you can outlast the energizer bunny.
number 22, 52, and 53...my favorite!
wait, your notebook is perfect. where is it from?
ReplyDeletexoxo
e
the little diary
Thanks! :) It's rifle paper co. obsessed with all of their stuff!
DeleteDrinking my cup o' coffee is the BEST part of my day. So happy to have stumbled upon a fellow Greenvillian's blog! :)
ReplyDelete